Self-portrait with Bandage Ear, Vincent Van Gogh

Please note: This piece touches on themes of self-harm, mental illness

By midwinter, Vincent and Gauguin’s relationship had completely deteriorated. Van Gogh felt himself disillusioned with his former mentor, and Gauguin was constantly, hectoringly critical of his roommate’s work. 

Finally, in December 1889, Gauguin tells Vincent that he’s had enough, and he’s going back to Paris. Then, according to the official police testimony given by Gauguin, Vincent became enraged and rushed at him with a razor, before stopping himself and retreating in horror. Gauguin then leaves the scene, and Vincent, in confusion and despair, slices off part of his left ear. He wraps the ear in paper and takes it to Gabrielle Berlatier, a female companion. Berlatier then calls the local police, who arrive the next morning, probably saving Vincent’s life as they stop the bleeding. Gauguin leaves after giving his statement, and the two will never see each other again. For Vincent, this will be the first of a series of breakdowns that will eventually end in his hospitalisation. 

This painting is a self-portrait that Vincent created just after the altercation with Gauguin; his left ear is bandaged. He wears a large blue hat, purchased to weigh down the heavy bandage, and a large winter coat. The windows are thrown open, letting the frigid air into a room that is bare save for a Japanese print and an easel. 

Vincent once said, “People say – and I’m quite willing to believe it – that it’s difficult to know oneself – but it’s not easy to paint oneself either.” The artist used his self-portraits as a way of looking into the mirror, as a means of exploring questions of identity and inner turmoil, wrestling with the shifting nature of the self and the tantalising hope of true self-knowledge. 

What do we think Vincent is saying about himself in this portrait? We see him at one of his lowest moments. A cherished dream has been smashed, and a friend has been lost. What do we see in his face? Is it shame or anxiety? Weariness? He has used impasto brushwork here, where thick layers of paint, mixed with a palette knife, are applied directly to the canvas, creating a great deal of texture. Vincent has become famous for this technique, and here he uses it to great effect, which he combines with strong vertical brushstrokes and the expressive addition of greens, blues and yellows to add a strong emotional intensity. 

For Vincent, this portrait was an attempt at healing. He has gone through a traumatic, harrowing experience, yet he has managed to pull himself together, even with his wound still fresh, and the studio so cold that he needs to wear that big fur cap indoors. Despite it all, he has painted this masterpiece. In Vincent’s weary face, we can see a man of great character and strength. Someone who, despite inner turmoil, was able to turn his pain back on itself, to create art that is unique and beautiful, and leave our world a better, richer place than he found it.